To witness this would make me the luckiest man in the world. I miss her everyday and did not do the no contact as fast as I wish I would have. Many hurtful and undeserved things have occured in these 3 months. I hope she comes to me soon , if ever. Great read Zan!! Thank you. I deleted my ex girlfriend from my phone and have realized she wanted to break up and I was to leave her alone. I guess I just want to know how to really react to this and the information bout her from my sister.
I have been staying in no contact since then. I do think of her from time to time but doubt if I would ever take her back. Anyhow in the meantime I am doing quite well. Life is too short to wait around and Cater to someone that is selfish. This site has been such a help to me. Now the ironic part is… that even if she contacts me again 5 breadcrumbs before I put an end to it I would not accept her right away.
If the same red flags come up… then I would not be interested. Once the relationship starting tanking last year she started doing girls nights out and coming home late drunk. She was probably seeking validation from men at bars.
Great read. I begged and pleaded a lot for about 2 weeks after the breakup. We were long distance. It blew up in my face and I regret it so much. We broke up middle of August.
The last thing I said to her was out of anger. I called her out for leading me on for those two weeks. She was even hugging and kissing me at one point.
I hope she realizes one day how selfish she was during and after the relationship. Live and learn. Sign me up for the newsletter! Notify me of follow-up comments by email.
Notify me of new posts by email. Sincerely Good Luck Brother Reply. Thanks in advance for any help Reply. Hi Stephen. Kind regards, Zan Reply. Plzz suggest me as I m going through a really tough time Thank u Reply. She said if we took that space for one week we should break up. I do miss her. Do you think we still have a chance to get back?
If he still cares for me, he will have to make the first move. So, interact with her on the phone and especially in person and spark her feelings of respect, sexual attraction and love, so she wants to be your girl again. When guys use that approach, they usually waste a lot of time and end up losing their woman as well.
If your intention is to get your ex back, you need to make sure that you have the right mindset for that to happen e. If you go into the ex back process with the wrong mindset, you might end up delaying, or even ruining your chances of getting her back. So, after a break up, a guy might decide that if he waits long enough, his ex will eventually start to miss him and then she will contact him so that they can get back together again.
He might then sit around for weeks, months and in some extreme cases, even years, waiting for her to get in touch so that they can resume their relationship. As a result, the guy loses his chance of getting her back, all because he had the wrong mindset i. If you do wait longer than a week, you might be shocked and disappointed to find out that she has already started to move on without you and is possibly dating, or even falling in love with a new man.
Sometimes, if a woman still has some feelings for her ex, she will begin to miss him after a days or weeks of not hearing from him and she might then make the first move. However, he ends up not being sure if he should try to get her back and risk getting rejected or not, so he keeps his reply short and ends the conversation hoping that it will make her chase him.
She then does just that, usually by going out more and opening herself up to meeting, dating and hooking up sexually with other men. In some cases, a guy will wait around for weeks, or even months in the hope that his ex will miss him and he can then start the ex back process with her.
This can be done by telling her about something you are doing in your life and relating it to some great memory you both had together. It reminded me of our second date and that beautiful red dress you were wearing. You looked hot. See how you are not being very descriptive but you are still making her use her imagination.
She is going to start thinking about her wearing that red dress and how it made her feel. You are going to make her think about how you were looking at her on her second date. You are going to make her remember the butterflies she felt in her stomach during that second date. All of this is going to create a strong stimulus in her mind.
And to top it all off, the fact that you are going to that place alone is going to make her fear missing out. The fact that you are going there with someone else is going to make her jealous. These two thoughts create a strong absence in her mind even if you are talking with her regularly. One of the most common shit test girls use is by just not replying to your message.
Sometimes, they will see your message and not reply for hours. Sometimes, they will decide not to see your message for hours, even if you can see them online. The truth is, texting culture has become really manipulative over the years. If you are serious about creating a long lasting and healthy relationship with this girl, you should make sure that you are consistent in being honest and truthful about everything.
Instead, just reply whenever you see her message. If she continues trying to avoid you, stop contacting her for a while. Give her some space and let the idea that you planted in her mind grow a little bit more. About Kevin Thompson. Kevin Thompson is a breakup expert and coach with more than 11 years of experience of helping people recover from a breakup and get back in a healthy relationship.
Scroll down to read the comments. Before commenting, read commenting guidelines. What if there was incredibly high absence prior to the break up? I left for bootcamp so there was nearly no contact. She sent me a letter breaking up but when I called her during the last week she broke down and said she loved me but was talking to another guy and said she wanted to get back together and the whole deal.
After that week I graduated expecting to call her and get back together and be fine but instead she said she didn't want to get back together and had blocked me on everything. Will no contact still work? After a week of no contact she followed me on IG which she had me blocked on previously. Is that a good sign or of little significance?
The fact that she suddenly followed you again would at least indicate that you had crossed her mind at that point, but does not show if her feelings are still there. I suggest trying no contact anyway since she had blocked you for the most part and the last interaction was not a positive one. I've implemented no contact and have stuck to it. My friend followed her finsta thinking he was helping and told me she has been "pushing away" her words the new bf and has also started some rather self destructive habits.
To give history, her and I lived together for a year. We were very close and went through some pretty serious stuff. She is very emotionally Dependant and I believe that my leaving and the 0 contact during that leave mixed with her anxiety and tendancy to push people away when she is scared of being left due to past relationships and hardships led to the decision to end things.
So it wasn't so much either of our faults or a specific event but more circumstantial. Oddly, she only started posting about the guy the day my friend followed the account. What are your thoughts? Is this salvageable?
Did my friend following break no contact? I care for her deeply and she cared for me deeply. There was little if any sign of trouble when I left. We had a pretty exceptional relationship by all accounts. Her mother even apologized to my family for the event. I break up with my girlfriend after 6 years, i'm 26 and she's 27 it's only been 3 day since we broke up and i want to start getting into no contact.
Right now she have a job as an illustrator and unfortunately her laptop was broken and i lend my laptop to her way before we broke up. Until now there's no guarantee that it's gonna be fixed soon when she's actually need the tools to actually work every single day now. So i was wondering can i just let her use my laptop for the time being? No it wouldn't hurt the no contact process as long as there isn't constant interaction over personal matters besides the laptop in this duration.
My gf broke up with me almost 3 months ago because of my anger issues and how I spoke to her and treated her she said. We had a bad fight which led her to leave me. We were together for 10 years and I have been trying to get her back. When I ask her if she still loves me she tells me that she will always love me and I will always hold a special place in her heart. She has been avoiding seeing me and I have been trying to make every little excuse and situation for her to see me.
I have made the mistake to keep contacting her but surprisingly she answers me calmly and will continue to talk to me if I make conversation. Any tips of what I can do please Because of the continuous contact since breaking up, she hasn't been given the space to actually let go of whatever happened during the relationship as contact with you would remind her of those things.
I suggest going into no contact for now despite the fact that she is still replying you now and let her know that you think it would be healthy if both parties had some space to process whatever happened. Hey my ex girlfriend broke up with me due to a lack of sexual attraction and passion. We were together 6 months and never fought. Always working out 7 days a week and doing something everyday. But basically the other day her friend reached out to me and told me to meet up with her when I got school.
She told it was for no specific reason. That confused me. She responded in an open manner and said she was thinking of me with a smiley face and said she was doing okay and hoped I was doing better. I responded the next day in a closed but light hearted manner saying I was doing good and thanking her for asking. Should I send an elephant in the room text? What do you think?
Any advice or tips? Thanks so much for everything. Understand that relationships which end despite the lack of fights tend to have underlying issues behind it.
You'll have to figure out what the reason is self-confidence, lack of assurance, not enough assertiveness as her partner, etc , and work on doing things differently this time around or it may end up the same way again. For the time being, you could reach out through the Spanish question, and continue the conversation onwards from there.
Can i apply all of these even if we still live together? I can just change things here and there or? It's definitely hard applying this while still living in the same house but perhaps start by drawing boundaries and personal space, such as separate rooms and avoiding contact where you are able to.
You might still want to consider moving out temporarily if you really want to apply these techniques. It might be a good idea to have a talk with her about this and to see where she stands regarding you and her current relationship, and know that a FWB relationship with an ex is never healthy in the long run.
I broke up with my gf 1 month ago. I was the one who broke up with her because her childish act. She didnt want to break up at first. After we had a long fight because of this she accepted we broke up. She said she want to break up because i was abbusing her. I never abbusing her physically. I tought she just looking for some excuse.
After one week she still care and contact me. She still posted the place we used to date or something. After she posted everything,i tought i was wrong to breakup with her so i ask her to get back together. She said she dont want back together right now because her family and her friends told not to get back. She said she is afraid that i couldnt change. She said we only be friends right now nothing more.
I told her i dont want to be her friends. After i said that she blocked me on every social media. After 2 weeks she unblocked me and start follow me in instagram. And stalk me on insta story. I still dont contacted her because i am doing no contaced period. I just follow her back on instagram. After i followed her she started post insta story about the place we used to be hang out. Is she testing me or something? I want to get back together with her.
But what is the right thing to do right now? Follow the guidelines of no contact, and contact her when the period ends typically after a month. It could be that she's reminiscing about the past rather than 'testing' you, because you following her back could've been a reminder of the relationship.
I met her last year and we made out but after that I played hard to catch for a couple months. We finally started seeing each other and I got her to dump the guy she was dating yes, she was on an open long distance relationship with some guy.
Things between us got serious and I got her to fall in love with me. Is there a way to make her ready for a relation? To get her back?
It would be best for you to give her some space and respect that choice for the time being and perhaps give it a couple of weeks of breathing room before trying to meet up with her again to sort things out. Remember to be civil about it and prove to her that you're capable of changing in order to give her a reason to want to come back.
Currently, she's in conflict with regard to her feelings for you and doing the 'right' thing by herself. You'll have to convince her that being together with you IS the right thing for her through your actions. Me and my wife of 14 years just broke up 3 months ago.
I caught her talking to another man. What is it I should do. It would be best if you at least tried to figure out the reason for her talking to another man and where she stands on the marriage to see if she still actually wants to work on it or not at all , before you can start to work on what you should be doing next. My ex asked me to buy back our time share from her. It was a week after NC. I had signed it over to her in Jan. Four months ago.
I also had paid her back a few thousand dollars paying off other things I had owed her. I guess she has some fin problems carrying over from last year We were together seven years. I can't afford to repurchase the TS. Do I text her an answer of no or keep up my NC for three more weeks? We had been texting some the last couple of months and had three pH calls.
Think she has s boyfriend hopefully a rebound. Perhaps respond to her on this matter to let her know, instead of keeping silent as she may think you're avoiding her because of monetary issues which may further decrease her viewpoint of you. We were in relationship for more then 3 years and my ex broke up with me 2 months ago I had been single for about a year and a half after divorcing my husband. He left his wife and filed for divorce.
It wasnt till he left her and filed for divorce that we started seeing each other. At the time, I was living with my brother because I gave everything to my ex husband. So I let Steve move in with me at my brothers place right off the get go. Things were great. We ended up getting an apartment of our own right down the road from our work.
I eventually left the school for a better paying job shortly after we got the apartment. However, a few months into having our own place — I lost my job. We were unable to afford our apartment and ended up having to move into my parents place. It was suppose to be temporary, 6 months to a year. However, it ended up being longer then that unfortunately because we struggled to get back on our feet financially 3. He said he was going to propose as soon as we were in our own place.
At my parents place, my little brother and his gf also lived here. Plus it was so hectic with 6 adults living in one house. Eventually, Steve became unhappy with the living situation and chose to move out and in with his mom and her husband Rick. It was suppose to be temporary until we could buy a place. A few months later, my brother and Liz ended up getting a place. About a year and a half ago, we were finally able to buy a trailer.
We have been remodeling it ever since and we were down to the very end of just painting the last bedroom and putting in flooring. It has been a long journey because money has always been tight. So for the last 2 years I want to say, Steve and I have been living apart from each other and seeing each other on the weekends. He has been living at his mom and Ricks, driving 30 minutes to my parents house every Friday night after getting out of work at pm and leaving Sunday night. I am driving over an hour to work every day and still at my parents.
And we were spending the only time we had together on the weekend working at the trailer. He was stressed out because of living with his parents, driving to my parents and staying here, then driving back and forth every day on the weekend to the trailer to work as well as playing custodian at work plus struggling financially. He is maintenance, but part of his job requires him to cover a custodian if they call off which is all the time and he hates being a custodian.
MS, Degenerative Disc Disease, etc. And all of the stress from the outside factors was causing Steve and I to fight. Plus, with my MS, I have a a hard time with my anger. I get mad over the simplest things because of a lesion on my brain which would cause a fight. We literally were down to the end of the remodel and are finally in a good place. We both drive good cars, have good jobs, we finally have a place of our own, money isnt tight well wont be after the trailer is finished.
However, Steve chose to break up with me on Feb. He said that he was tired of always fighting and being unhappy. That we needed to take a break. He instantly removed me from the bank account we shared, the phone account we shared, he took himself off the insurance policy we had together all within a week of breaking up.
Ive been talking to a few friends. Getting advice. He literally stood in front of me and watched me uncontrollably bawl my eyes out and he never even flinched or tried to comfort me. When I asked him who he was with, he said his Aunt. He never spent time with his Aunt the whole time we were together. He has completely cut off communication with me. Walked away like I am nothing.
Then I find out from his sister in law April that not even a week or 2 after he left me, that he gave his number to a girl at work who happens to be her cousin. When I confronted him about it, he said that she is just a friend. Also keep in mind that I had been previously told by a friend that I worked with that there was somethimg between Steve and Brittany at work, the girl who filled my position when I left.
Then he went back on FB and blocked me. We werent on FB when we were together. We decided to get rid of it because it caused drama in our relationship. One issue being that Brittany added him on there and he accepted it. Not even 2 weeks after we broke up and he instantly went back to FB. Well on the 22nd, we met at the storage unit that we shared so that I could get my stuff out of it.
And when I asked him about Sam Aprils cousin , he just kept saying that she was a friend. Then when I asked him if she asked for his number or if he asked for hers, he came back with why does it matter. When I told him that it matters to me, he finally gave me an answer and said that she asked for his. When I asked him why he even gave it to her he just kept saying idk, I dont have an answer. Which I dont believe.
This mattered to me because I always told Steve that I feared he would meet somebody at work and leave me. Like how we met. When we met, he swore I was his once in a lifetime woman, that we would always be and that he would never leave, that he would never find somebody at work.
And he swore up and down that would never happen, well look what happened. That he is happy. That he is sleeping again, eating again, he has his appetite back, he has lost 10 lbs. I told him that I would give him a break and that we would go 60 days of no contact and then he has to contact me afterwards and we try.
He said ok, but no promises. I also find it weird that he took all of the stuff that I bought him as gifts and he kept a lot of stuff we bought together. I also find it weird that he still wants to move into the trailer that we bought together and remodeled together.
We are a week in of no contact. Am I wasting my time? Or is there hope? Hi Tiffany, so I would suggest doing a 45 day no contact not 60 that is too long. But in that time you need to work on yourself so that you are applying the information from the Ungettable articles to show your ex what he has lost.
Try not to speak of the new girl in the picture anymore as that is showing him you see her as a threat. Focus on yourself for some time and make sure that you are in control of your emotions at all time, especially when you speak with mutual friends, you need to make him think you are doing good without him right now.
My bf and I had an amazing relationship and connection.. We started to have fights and I always threatened to break up with him.. Even packed up his stuff and kicked him out a couple times.. Bit I did it out of frustration. I love him very much.. He moved back in with his mom. But we still stayed together.. For the first time.. So I reached out and we started talking again.. He felt very distant but always told me he loved me.. Showed me lots of affection. I started feeling that we werent as close anymore..
He used to want to be with me Now I would always ask for him to come see me and he would give me the run around. He said I hurt him. I accused him of cheating and we got into a HUGE fight..
He sent me one txt the next day saying he never cheated and he would never do thst to me. Then I txted him telling him how much he hurt me.. He told me that he never cheated and he loves me so muxb and he would do anything to fight for us.. Couple weeks went by. He was still acting distant and different. I went to his work and told him I was saying goodbye.. He said goodbye forever??
0コメント